Leslie Cook

Friendship

In Random Thoughts on May 15, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Yesterday, one of my best friends, someone I’ve known for almost 40 years died.  Joi was like the sister I never had.  She was funny, smart, had a memory from hell, and was one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. Along with my friends Susan and Michelle, we’ve roamed the earth, spent hours on the phone talking about god knows what, and experienced most of life’s milestones together.  She died far too young at the age of 49, two weeks before her 50th birthday.

Losing Joi is hard.  Yesterday, I had a conference call with my two other compadres and we were remembering how Joi always know what to do.  And how we really need her now to help us with this loss.  So we keep asking “What would Joi do?”

Susan reminded us yesterday that this is just like Joi.  She was always fond of springing things on us.  In High School, she informed us that she was going to Prom the day before it happened.  She gave us all a call and told us she was engaged to be married, which was great, but we didn’t even know she was dating anyone :).  And now she goes before us into death without asking.

I have so many memories flooding back into my head of moments with my friends.  Ski trips, weddings, funerals, births, parties, moments at the movies.  A lifetime spent with friends.

When I heard of Joi’s death I remembered a poem I heard in a movie.  Did I mention that Joi loved movies?  The poem is about death, about the feelings of the loved ones left behind. It pretty much describes how I and my friends are feeling now.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one:
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods:
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

This was written for a lost spouse, but if feels right to describe a friendship too.  I know these feelings will eventually pass, but I’m positive the love and the memories that my good friend gave to me never will.  God will take good care of Joi, and the friends and family she left behind will always remember her and keep her memory alive.

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