Leslie Cook

Zen Observations

In Random Thoughts on December 31, 2009 at 9:26 am

I found this today while going though old papers. Enjoy and have a happy New Year!

Zen Observations

  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.  Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.  Do not walk beside me, either.  Just leave me the hell alone.
  • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
  • It’s always darkest before dawn.  So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
  • No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  • If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
  • Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
  • Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
  • A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  • Duct tape is like the force.  It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
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  1. These are hilarious! Made my day!

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