I found this today while going though old papers. Enjoy and have a happy New Year!
Zen Observations
- Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
- It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
- No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
- If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them,you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
- If at first you don’t succeed, skydiveing is not for you.
- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
- If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
- Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
- Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain daince.
- A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it it holds the universe together.


My husband seems to have become obsessed with hand washing. Since the H1N1 (the flu formerly known as swine) became an issue, he’s obsessively posted hand washing articles to his Facebook page. There are articles about how to wash your hands, now people tend not to wash their hands, pictures of cats washing their paws, and of course, the hand washing dance video. Is this something I should worry about? Has he suddenly become a clean freak? Wait, strike that, I’m pretty sure this hand washing cleanliness trend has not transferred into his everyday life. So why the obsession?
A few weeks ago, an organization I belong to announced that it was “Going Green” by ending the publication of a couple of their standard quarterly magazines. Although I’m all for the “Green” revolution, I question the use of the term when it is used simply to save money for organizations. Yes, having written marketing materials for large corporations, I’m quite aware of the spinning of bad news. In this case, the correspondence welcomed us to feel good about sacrifice, and informed us that, if you really, really, really needed a paper copy, it would cost us extra. In an email immediately following this announcement, we were informed that our membership fees would increase by 100%.
It’s the talk of the office lately. Have you been to the new mall? Wow, it’s all bright and shiny! There’s a Best Buy and Target over there!
This weekend was Norm’s birthday weekend. I know I’m insane, but I do tend to make a big deal about birthdays. Personally, I think I’m overcompensating for the time my Mom forgot my birthday…for 3 days. Ok, granted, my mom was kind of busy at the time. She had 5 kids, a house to run and a part-time job to go to. But when you’re 8, stuff like that matters. So I’ve been scarred for life, to the benefit of my friends and family.
Early on Friday morning, October 2, 2009, the Nobel Committee surprised the world by awarding the Nobel Peace Prize on a relatively young, relatively green, President of the United State. To say that the world was shocked is an understatement. I saw the news at about 4:30am PDT. I too was shocked. My first response was “Why?”. President Obama has been in office about 9 months. Prior to that, he did good works in his community, was a U.S. Senator for a while and an Illinois legislator for a while. Yes, it is an amazing thing for an African American man to rise in politics to the highest office in the land. But does he deserve a Nobel Peace Prize?